LosByers- Interesting Musings Helpful Hints from a Unix System Administrator » funny

Get in and out of your car with easy

LosByers — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 19:33:49 +0000

Everyone has at one point in time thought it was difficult to get out of the Viper.

Well worry no more.

Stop working so hard to get in & out of the car! Let this handy swivel seat do all the work for you.
Soft comfortable cushion with memory foam swivels a full 360° and conforms to any car seat
eliminating unsteady or painful entry or exit.

Disclaimer

Product not sponsored or endorsed by the site owners. Not responsible for burned calves, bonked heads or legs that are too long to clear the steering column. If you have read this disclaimer this far you should stop. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Use only as directed. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Your mileage may vary. This supersedes all previous notices. This disclaimer may not be copied without the expressed written consent of whoever I stole it from. This message is intended for the use of the individuals who read the above and may contain information that is confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended target audience, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this post is not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas. Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use and may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the transmission of this message, although the yorkshire terrier next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you. Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown, wild monkeys, or rabid giraffes will be gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning backwards. Just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft: However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets. If you have navigated to this site in error, please add some nutmeg and egg whites and place it in a warm oven for 40 minutes. Whisk briefly and let it stand for 2 hours before icing. Further this site does not warrant the accuracy or completeness of the information, text, graphics, links or other items contained within these materials. Anyone may make changes to these materials, or to the products described therein, at any time without notice. The King of Rhode Island makes no commitment to update the Materials or data. In other words, if you screw it up, you’re on your own. I forgot what I was talking about, please continue on with your business, nothing to see here, move along.

Germany finally Conquers Europe

LosByers — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 13:48:39 +0000

I took a few articles, some monetary policy information (STRATFOR) and recent news about Europe and the Euro and have come to the conclusion that Germany has won. The euro is essentially gutting the European economic base because Greece, Portugal, Spain and Italy (in that order), each have done such a poor job of keeping their budgets under control and now they are flirting with debt defaults. All have grown fat and lazy off the cheap credit the euro brought them. Germany is a rich, technocratic, capital-intensive economy with strong credit markets and efficient workers. It is difficult for the poor, agrarian/manufacturing economies that have high labor costs and that are living off of the difference between the credit they received due to the euro and the credit they qualified for on their own merits. Slowly Germany is achieving by stealth what it failed to achieve in the past thousand years of intra-European struggles. In essence, European states are borrowing money (mostly from Germany) in order to purchase imported goods (mostly from Germany) because their own workers cannot compete on price (mostly because of Germany). In essence Germany is taking over control of all of Europe through monetary policy, they will want the Euro to survive as the Euro acts as a control mechanism for Germany against other countries, and the other countries would never want to leave on their own as they would be bankrupt and excluded from the Euro benefits.

Germany wins control of all European States by acting as the anchor to their monetary system.

Hail!, I mean way to go Germany..

Use these Euphemisms

LosByers — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 19:17:08 +0000

Try making a complete sentence out this these new found Euphemisms

“Savoring the Technicolor Bishop“

“Slamming the Brass Wookie“

“Tainting the Yogurt”

Here are some examples:

The film shocked audiences nationwide with its frank depiction of two men slamming the brass wookie.
Then, I had to sit next to some crazy guy on the bus who was apparently tainting the yogurt.

Have Fun.