MEMORANDUM
DATE : 1st April, 1996
TO : All Staff
RE: Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T)
In order to insure that we continue to produce the highest quality work
possible, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained
through our program of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.). We
are giving our employees more S.H.I.T. than any other company in town.
If you feel you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please
see your immediate Supervisor. You will be placed at the top of the
S.H.I.T. List for special attention.
All of our Supervisors are particularly qualified to see that you get
all the S.H.I.T. you can handle at your own speed.
Employees who don’t know S.H.I.T. will be placed in Departmental
Educational Evaluation Programs (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to
take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to Educational Attitude
Training (E.A.T.S.H.I.T.). Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before, they
don’t have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, as they are all full of S.H.I.T.
already.
If you consider yourself to be adequately trained already, you may be
interested in helping us to train others. We can add you to our Basic
Understanding Lecture List, Special High Intensity Training
(B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.).
If you have further questions, please address them to our Head of
Training, Special High Intensity Training (H.O.T.S.H.I.T.)
Yours truly,
Boss In General, Special High Intensity Training
(B.I.G.S.H.I.T.)
P.S. With the personality some of you show around here, you could easily
become Director Of Intensity Programming, Special High Intensity
Training (D.I.P.S.H.I.T.).
